Friday 26 April 2019

Gradlympics: Easter Report

The ‘Gradlympics’ has continued. From the last report, the scores stood at 1-1. Here we have the report of the most recent three events – Running, Basketball and Softball.

Event No. 3: Running
Running. It such a pure sport. Completely without complication. No chance of any controversy or disputes. The next time someone tells you such rubbish you should ask them to define a scoring system for a five-event amateur race day and see what happens.
Each point of scoring was agonisingly mulled over. How important is the relay? How far down should points go? Should points scale in a linear distribution or in some form of… hyperbolic function? We did finally agree, but I won’t mention it here, quite simply because I’m scared of abuse from online statisticians.
The event began with a supersized 8x100m relay. It was neck and neck from the start. Well, thinking about it I suppose all races are. But this stayed neck and neck across 8 legs in the most thrilling race of the day. A highlight came as Todd and Livesey matched each other step for step in a fast head to head. Into the final straight Oxford led by a few lengths, but Morgan couldn’t keep pace and Abingdon took it on the line. 
Next came the individual races: 100m, 400m and 1500m. 
The 100m. The title of Culham’s fastest graduate on the line. Oxford’s O’Callaghan stormed out the gates, and never looked back. With Abingdon in second and Oxford in 3rd, it was a James taking Gold, Silver and Bronze. It is quite clearly the best of all names.
In the 400m it was Quirk who led powerfully round the bend, then managed to hold off Fulton and the long-legged Lukenskas. A win for Abingdon.
For the 1500m Morgan and Moore gave impressive performances securing a 1-2 finish for Oxford. Ascott put in a solid race but ended a distant third. The hero of the day though was Litherland-Smith, who in a show of immense team commitment, ran the entire course in his crisp blue office wear. Despite this, the 1500m gave Oxford a commanding lead in the scores.
The stage was set for an Abingdon comeback in the 5000m the following week. But Abingdon were wounded, tired, and frankly shocked at the distastefulness of running during lunchtime. An anti-climax, as Abingdon were forced to forfeit. 
Litherland-Smith and Bookless on the home straight

Event No. 4: Basketball
Next it was time for the graduates to get their head in the game for basketball. Abingdon, with the experienced Todd in charge, started as strong favourites. But the Gradlympics has a habit of throwing up a few surprises.
Abingdon looked like royals on the court. Decked out in matching lush green, fresh off the press. And Oxford? Scruffy. A ragtag crew, by comparison.
Abingdon were quickly practicing with professional lay-up routines. They had confidence, and a three-person advantage. But Oxford had an ace in the hole, a Gradlympics debutant no less.
Erskine strode out, tall-ly. My, he certainly is tall, a stranger might have remarked. And not only that, but one skilled in the art of placing balls into high hoops. With Erskine at the front, Oxford put Abingdon on the back foot from the start.
It was close, closer than any could have predicted. 2-2, 4-4. Then 8-4 Oxford. Todd came off, had a little moan about technical rule infringements, then refocused. She led the recovery, with some good finishes by Ascott, such that at half time the score stood at 12-10 to Abingdon. 
The highlight of the match came at 14-10, when Quirk steadied himself and, almost in slow motion, dropped in the most delicious of 3-pointers. 17-10. Todd dribbled with an appropriate amount of speed. It seemed that every now and again she would get so bored or frustrated that she would just dribble through the entire team and score. At the end of a bruising quarter for Oxford, the score stood at 23-12.
But it wasn’t over. Three quick baskets for Oxford put the scores just 5 points apart with 5 minutes to go. Erskine was on fire. But Todd was the firefighter. Abingdon shut it down and the game ended 27-18 to the bun-throwers. 
It had been fast and energetic. Unexpectedly fun, was the general consensus. Abingdon’s uniforms were dripping in beautiful back sweat. A perfect time for photos! 
Abingdon

Oxford

Event No.5: Softball
Softball is the sport with likely the best claim of being the Sport of Culham. The grads on arrival had heard legends of softball tournaments gone by. Alongside the MASCOT manipulators and In-bore cutting and welding tools, a trophy still stands in RACE’s foyer.
Now softball is not that well known in the UK. So if you haven’t heard, the rules go something like this: If you hit you run. Except when it’s a foul ball. A foul ball is a strike. Except on the third strike. Until the fourth no ball, when you can walk instead of run. If you do run, don’t overrun. Else you’ll risk being run out. Which is bad.
Strikes. What sort of sport names the action of missing the ball literally a verb which means to make contact?
Anyway, on to the game. First ball, O’Callaghan steps up and launches Cooper’s pitch like a rocket towards the trees. But only second base. Measures gets off the mark with a dropped catch. Korzeniowska had some beautiful swings, and some beautiful leaves. It’s just a shame they were in the wrong order.
The images in our heads beforehand of home runs into the cheering crowds were quickly replaced by finickity discussions on what constitutes a valid pitch, and something about stomping. First innings over. A total of 5 scores. Was that good? Literally no idea.
Abingdon’s turn. It was a good start until Robson came foul of three strikes, but otherwise Abingdon worked well, with a healthy mixture of hitting and walking. 7 scored. Advantage Abingdon.
One innings down. Six to go. Jimmy checks his watch. Jimmy does some maths. One innings to go.
Oxford restart their line-up and get back round to O’Callaghan. Cooper this time wants payback, and ups the speed of his pitches. This was effective and Oxford had their backs against the wall with two out. In the face of Cooper’s fireballs they still got the bases loaded, ready for Stuart to get them home. But Stuart was struggling – two strikes, two foul balls. Last chance saloon. He nudges a ball to Quirk who slings it to catcher Richyal. A chance to run them out on a low score. A chance missed.
The ball sails past Richyal and ends up tucked up against blue Ford estate. Oxford jog home for 4 extra runs. Every runner past the line seemed to add a decade to Quirk’s face. Oxford rode their high to the maximum 10 points.
Abingdon had a tough task ahead of them. They had some early success against Witty’s pitches. Bookless had majestic poise as he watched four balls drop at his feet. Hawkes was strutting like BeyoncĂ© as he made it home. But it was not to be. The game ended, fittingly, on a mix up in the running. Victory for Oxford. They take a 3-2 lead into the Easter break. 
Reflecting on another sport over, it was hard not to notice the lack of exhaustion. A few whispered softly under their breath; Softball is really… a lot of standing around. Don’t tell.
The games restart with Badminton. Stay tuned.